Mixed feelings

I heard that Ms K would be "leaving" our dept soon as she has news of her new posting in another division. The date is likely to be in end March.

Strange. I thought i have always wanted her to leave and then my life would be happy. But just now when i heard the news, why didn't i feel good? In fact, i felt a little empty. Is it because she has fulfilled her wish to change her dept unlike me or because i have no one else left to fight against my boss? Or is it because after these few years, i also have built some sort of relationship with her even though its not strong.

And what will become of me? Will my boss continue to bully me? Or will he finally appreciate my efforts and reward me?

What do i want to do next? Do i want to continue in this dept? Ask for a posting? Or simply leave the company?

I am at a loss. Truly.